Longing and Missing

“GET OUT!”

I yelled at family that filled the room.

My voice was shaky,

Unstable,

A little scared.

I’d never known a world without her in it.

I couldn’t possibly imagine how to exist without her.

Her body had become so small,

So frail,

And I wondered how many more moments I would have.

So, I knew,

I needed to be alone,

To hold her,

To cry,

To tell her why,

Her love

Changed me,

Saved me,

Made me.

Once my family cleared

And it was only her and I,

I had no words,

And I didn’t understand why,

Because this was my time

To say everything, I needed to

Before she would die.

Somehow,

Someway,

Through the heartbreak,

I knew why I had no words.

I had been saying them all along.

Every day,

In every way.

On the phone,

In a letter

And whispering in her ear

Her love

Changed me,

Saved me,

Made me.

I knew this would be the last time I see her,

Lay beside her,

Hold her hand.

Like any other day,

But in the same way,

I stroked her arm

And said,

I love you

I love you

I love you.

Years later,

I find myself,

Longing and missing,

But so grateful for how you

Changed me,

Saved me,

Made me.